If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
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