I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
I can't come tonight. Someone took a shit in the dressing room. A.) Clean it up or B.) Kill myself. Text back with your answer.
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
Randomize