I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
The cab driver was nice enough to let you finish your beer in the car, but you crossed the line when you started to pee in the empty bottle
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
Randomize
