Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
I found someone's tooth on the stairs when I was vacuuming, and my sister found a catheter in the men's bathroom... this cleaning job is dangerous
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
Randomize
