I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
Randomize
