I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
The drive thru lady at McDonald's asked how I was and I responded by opening the car door and throwing up all over the drive thru lane. Happy Sunday.
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
Randomize
