Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
I wish there was a "friends who have gained the most weight since high school" filter on facebook for when I am feeling fat.
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
Walk-of-shaming home from Brooklyn in a Jesus costume that has "what wouldn't Jesus do" written on the robe.
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
Randomize