Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
If I die it's either cuz I undercooked my burger or because I used questionable cheese. I have no pants on, so if there's a wellness check, you go in first.
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
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