lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
SEEEEXXX PLEASE
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
Randomize
