Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
Randomize
