the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
I want you more than these girls want KFC
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
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