apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
Randomize
