Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
Taco trucks are like ice cream trucks for drunk adults. They should have a mariachi tune they play super loud to bring people out of the bars for tacos.
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
Randomize
