i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
Randomize
