Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
This beer is not sobering me up at all
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
Randomize
