i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
He was running late for work this morning, so I helped him out by finding a matching pair of black socks. And I hated it. So I'm currently drinking and reminding myself of the reasons I will never get married.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
You know you're too drunk when you start calling people out for unfollowing you on social networks.
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
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