They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
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