brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
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