We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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