he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
I wish i was in the wii world.
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
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He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
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An open call to all exes! i have a drunk text policy that requires i delete any and all texts after drink 3, however i have reason to believe i have done something stupid. if i have texted you that "I love you", "miss you" and/or conveyed any interest in getting back together with you in the last 24 hours i was belligerent and lying. That is all.
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
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