I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
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