Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
last night i told the bartender i only have 3 days left to live so i wouldnt have to pay for drinks
this morning i woke up with a nothing but a pair of what i believe are fairy wings on - and the bartender in my bed
he thinks ill be dead by monday and still came home w me.. WTF?
messed up. what color are the wings?
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
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