this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
I named my Roomba after my pot dealer. I have a problem, don't i?
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
I think I’ve reached sophomore-year-level of bad ideas
and you know that’s the highest possible level because it’s when I met you
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
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