Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize
