dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
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