And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
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