Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
I made her a sippy cup with eggnog and whiskey. My meditation app told me to go the extra mile for someone today, so I did.
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
We were drunk waiting for tacos and I gave him a handy in the back of the Uber while giving the driver relationship advice. I think I'm handling the whole grad school thing alright.
I have peed in a lot of sinks
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
Randomize
