Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
Fyi: he's overweight and balding. My biological clock is ticking so loud I can't hear the TV.
my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
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the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
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He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
Also I think I drunkenly signed up to be an uber driver or something because they keep emailing me to fill out a background check
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?