hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
Randomize
