There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
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