I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
Bad news. I baked you a cake and one of my fingernails is missing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
Please remind me tomorrow that I ate a loaf of jimmy johns bread on the toilet 5 mins ago
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
The girls said some drunk guy in footie pajamas was asking for me when they opened the doors. I thought we agreed you were gonna stay home and microwave me some bacon.
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
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