Picture the opening band right now: euro, beer guts, one member in oversized hipster lumberjack apparel, the other in childsized american apparel and shorts. Singing in german.
Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
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