I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
Randomize
