I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
Randomize
