Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
Randomize
