i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
Randomize
