I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
Randomize
