never play flip cup with pint glasses
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
Randomize
