I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Randomize