Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Randomize
