happiness is walking an amphibious rodent on a leash
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
Yeah, he hid all the toilet paper and took a video of me looking for it before I shit my pants. Definitely playing that clip at our wedding.
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
I booty texted him nothing but three exclamation points at 3:05am and he was in my bed 17 minutes later, lest you think punctuation is not important.
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
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