Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
Joe is yelling at the trees again.
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
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