NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
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