If Billy Mays did an infomercial on your dick, it still wouldn't get you laid.
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
Randomize
