I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
Randomize
