Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
where am i from again
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
Randomize
