just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
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