Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
Randomize