Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
I can't turn off my feet"
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
Randomize
