similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
Within the hour, he sent me 8 texts and 4 voice memos. One of the memos was just him whistling for 3 minutes. ...It's official, I attract the crazies.
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
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