I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
He broke up with his gf yesterday so he could give me our annual Christmas sex at midnight.
Marry him. Now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
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