guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
so let's talk penis.
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
Randomize
