It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
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