If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
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